Using Affirmations
How Do I Use Affirmations?
Affirmations are first and foremost a simple tool for changing thoughts. Their use is based on the idea that your thinking has a huge impact on your ability to achieve.
There are psychological models describing how this works, but let's keep it simple.
The thoughts they are designed to change are a very specific set of thoughts referred to as self-talk. You have self-talk all the time. Some of it is negative and some of it positive.
Negative self-talk example:
You are sitting at stoplight that seems to be taking forever and you are running late for a meeting. You might think to yourself, "C'mon light change! I've got to get to my meeting. If I am late, my boss is not going to like it. I probably won't get a raise this year. I can't afford that with three kids in college."
We have all experienced moments like that. Think about the mental and physical stress this kind of thinking creates. When you do get the meeting - with these thoughts in tow - how effective are you going to be?
Positive self-talk example:
You are a really good tennis player. You have a big amateur tournament coming up. All week you keeping thinking to yourself, "I know I can win the tournament Saturday. My serve has been really on lately. I'm moving well. I'm going to be tough to beat!"
If you show up at the tournament with those thoughts in your mind, how do you feel? You believe in yourself and your abilities. You may or may not actually win the tournament, but your chances of success go way up as compared to someone who arrives thinking, "I don't have a chance."
Affirmations and Long-Held Beliefs
You can calm momentary negative self-talk with a simple reminder that it is going to be OK and a quick affirmation that your meeting will go fine this morning.
Actual conscious, planned, repeated affirmations come in to play when we are trying to achieve a goal or undo years of programming. In other words, if you have a long-held belief that you are terrible in meetings (as opposed to just being stressed on a particular morning), a one time affirmation is not going to change that thought.
If you want to change a long-held thought like that, you are going to need to create affirmations and use them repeatedly over a period of time to change that embedded belief.
Affirmations help you do what is called "thought substitution". You have a thought like, "I am terrible at math." Every time you have to add, subtract, multiply, or divide this thought pops into your head and you usually have trouble with the math.
Changing your thoughts may not make you a math genius, but you can absolutely change your confidence level and see better results in a given situation by altering your thinking about it.
I used to work with someone who used to say regularly, "I always get a headache at 4:00 in the afternoon." Guess what? Almost every day at 4:00 she was searching for the Tylenol.
Now it is possible she had a physical condition that made her prone to headaches, but the the 4:00 aspect was a belief - a thought - that she had repeated so many times to herself that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Affirmations are used to change long-held thoughts, beliefs, and limitations.
How to Use Affirmations
There are several methods for using affirmations. They include:
Affirmations are first and foremost a simple tool for changing thoughts. Their use is based on the idea that your thinking has a huge impact on your ability to achieve.
There are psychological models describing how this works, but let's keep it simple.
The thoughts they are designed to change are a very specific set of thoughts referred to as self-talk. You have self-talk all the time. Some of it is negative and some of it positive.
Negative self-talk example:
You are sitting at stoplight that seems to be taking forever and you are running late for a meeting. You might think to yourself, "C'mon light change! I've got to get to my meeting. If I am late, my boss is not going to like it. I probably won't get a raise this year. I can't afford that with three kids in college."
We have all experienced moments like that. Think about the mental and physical stress this kind of thinking creates. When you do get the meeting - with these thoughts in tow - how effective are you going to be?
Positive self-talk example:
You are a really good tennis player. You have a big amateur tournament coming up. All week you keeping thinking to yourself, "I know I can win the tournament Saturday. My serve has been really on lately. I'm moving well. I'm going to be tough to beat!"
If you show up at the tournament with those thoughts in your mind, how do you feel? You believe in yourself and your abilities. You may or may not actually win the tournament, but your chances of success go way up as compared to someone who arrives thinking, "I don't have a chance."
Affirmations and Long-Held Beliefs
You can calm momentary negative self-talk with a simple reminder that it is going to be OK and a quick affirmation that your meeting will go fine this morning.
Actual conscious, planned, repeated affirmations come in to play when we are trying to achieve a goal or undo years of programming. In other words, if you have a long-held belief that you are terrible in meetings (as opposed to just being stressed on a particular morning), a one time affirmation is not going to change that thought.
If you want to change a long-held thought like that, you are going to need to create affirmations and use them repeatedly over a period of time to change that embedded belief.
Affirmations help you do what is called "thought substitution". You have a thought like, "I am terrible at math." Every time you have to add, subtract, multiply, or divide this thought pops into your head and you usually have trouble with the math.
Changing your thoughts may not make you a math genius, but you can absolutely change your confidence level and see better results in a given situation by altering your thinking about it.
I used to work with someone who used to say regularly, "I always get a headache at 4:00 in the afternoon." Guess what? Almost every day at 4:00 she was searching for the Tylenol.
Now it is possible she had a physical condition that made her prone to headaches, but the the 4:00 aspect was a belief - a thought - that she had repeated so many times to herself that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Affirmations are used to change long-held thoughts, beliefs, and limitations.
How to Use Affirmations
There are several methods for using affirmations. They include:
- Speaking - some people read or memorize affirmations and read them aloud. Sometimes this is done in front of a mirror to increase the impact of the words by addressing to directly to yourself.
- Reading - some people prefer to read affirmations silently and internalize them as they read.
- Posting - some people like to post the affirmation in places where they will see it throughout the day. They might post them on their computer monitor at work or on the refrigerator or hang them on the rear view mirror of the car.
- Listening - more and more people get their affirmations by listening to them. Listening is time efficient because it is possible to multi-task while listening. People can work, drive, or workout while they listen to their affirmations. Affirmations can be listened to passively or with intent. The goal is to audibly plant the thoughts in your mind.
So, which is the best way? All of them. They all can add benefit and impact to your affirmations. It depends on your own needs. Some people believe there is more power in the mirror talk. Some people are busy and need to get their affirmations while they do other things.
The key is that if you have thoughts you want to change, affirmations are the best tool available for changing them.
